Manhattan Proper

Went to Manhattan Proper last night, a sports bar on Murray Street in TriBeca, around 7pm with two of my best friends from high school. Shout out to Midwood. It was a friend’s first time bartending so we went to show support. Sometimes I really like doing nice things like that because I’m so selfless – it’s not like I wanted free food, or anything.

Having gone to college in Boston, I’ve been to my fair share of sports bars. I always try to pretend like I’m interested in one of the games going on, but I never have any clue what’s happening and who knew it was still baseball season, anyway? I was pretty sure early Fall was football season. You learn something new everyday.

Regardless, this is a review of the food/scene because it’s the only thing I’m qualified to actually review – fries and vibes.

We ordered two things: the Parmesan Truffle Fries and the Brooklyn Beignets. I KNOW –  WTF are Brooklyn Beignets?? But, wasn’t blown away by them. The beignets were stuffed with pepperoni, mozzarella, topped with parmesan cheese, and served over marinara sauce. It’s just that it tasted kind of like those Pizza Bites that my friends and I would get from the store on our way home from the bars in college – which, by the way, were delicious. BUT those Pizza Bites were genetically engineered to taste like sex. You know what I mean? The fried dough at Manhattan Proper was a little too hard, and the pepperoni inside was a little too big. So not a homerun there. But it’s an easy fix: they just need to try a lighter dough recipe and chop the pepperoni into smaller pieces.

The Parmesan Truffle Fries, however, were very good. They tasted like jumbo Burger King fries  – kind of double fried on the outside, with that crisp skin and just the right balance of potato inside. They smelled divine, and they came with crumbled parmesan, shaved manchego cheese, and garnished with green onion. I can still taste them if I close my eyes.

The scene was kind of mehhhh: early thirty-something guys in casual Friday, blue button-downs with their female coworkers, both trying a little too hard to get out of the friend zone. Like, just go home together already, what is the BFD? And then of course some couples – watching the game, casually making out, eating bar food before meeting up with their friends. Some women in their late thirties trying to have a quick catch up sesh presumably before heading back to jersey/long island/connecticut/westchester. There were one or two kind of cute guys, but like were they actually attractive? Just because you’re the best looking out of your friends, doesn’t really make you cute, does it?

Manhattan Proper’s Results:

Atmosphere: B –

Food: B

Hot guys: C+

Total: B –