10 White Summer Sneakers Under $100

I’m obsessed w/ white sneakers – the minimal, low profile silhouettes, and clean structured lines that fit seamlessly w/ summer dresses on the weekends and more business casual clothing for the office. Because I don’t have $380 to drop on a pair of Common Projects and don’t want to look like every single other person with Stan Smith’s, I’ve rounded up 10 pairs of classic white sneakers under $100 that you can wear to work, brunch and wherever else you’re going this summer.

Jack Purcell

Converse Jack Purcell Canvas Low Top, $64.99, available at Zappos.com

Just look at how clean these are. I love them because they still look like the classic, canvas Converse you know and love, but they’re a little more sophisticated. Wear these with casual work pants, khakis, jeans, shorts dresses…you name it.

Tretorn

Tretorn Marley 2, $72.00, available at Tretorn.com

These are a perfect summer shoe: Perforated leather for style and breathe-ability, they’re lightweight, and look way more expensive than they actually are.

Puma Basket Classic LFS

PUMA Basket Classic LFS, $62.99, available at Zappos.com

The tiny gold logo on the side is just the right amount of logo I’m comfortable with. They’re leather, low profile, and I love that the laces are a bit thicker than other sneakers.

 

Reebok

Reebok Workout Plus Vintage Sneaker, $85.00, available at Urban Outfitters

You probably remember your mom wearing these to do her Jane Fonda videotape workouts in your living room in the 80’s. They’re kind of clunky and not exactly white, but they’re so comfortable and classic, it doesn’t matter that they’re more like an ivory.

s-l1000

Nike Classic Cortez Premium, $90.00, available at Nike

One of my all-time favorite Nikes, the iconic white/red/blue colorway was made famous by Forrest Gump, and now, I suppose, Bella Hadid. Regardless, these are a super comfy summer shoe perfect for your brighter outfits and July 4th parties.

Converse.jpg

Converse Chuck Taylor All Star Leather Hi, $69.99, available at Zappos.com

For when you want the hi-top option, but are trying to keep it super minimal. These should be your go-to.

Jordan 1

Nike Air Jordan Retro 1 Mid, $99.98, available at Finish Line

And for when you want the sporty, hi-top option, the Retro 1’s keep it low key, but swaggy. $110 normally, but on sale for $99.98 when you add it to your cart.

tube

 

adidas Tubular Shadow Shoes, $100, available at adidas.com
I keep seeing people in these and they’re really starting to grow on me. Do I like the adidas Boost & NMD’s more? Yes. But these are cheaper and look pretty damn comfy.

vans-snake1-e1497297217500

Vans Snake Classic Slip-On, $60.00, available at Vans.com

I love these because of their texture and subtlety. And who has time to tie their shoes? These update the casual slip-on look with the snake chambray and embossed suede. Even people that don’t like Vans like these.

Womens-Nike-Roshe-One-triple-white

Nike Women’s Roshe One Casual, $56.24, available at Finish Line

Easily the most comfortable option on this list, the Roshe is a no-brainer and feels like you’re walking on a cloud. They’re minimal, breathe-able, and the waffle pattern provides a stylish feel that blends in yet stands out.

 

 

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How to Online Date: Guys Edition

I want to be clear from the jump – this is not a guide about how to get a girlfriend, nor is this a guide about how to get girls to sleep with you. What this is, is a quick guide that will guarantee girls actually meet up with you for a drink, and if you’re lucky this will lead to them sleeping with you sometime in the near future.

Let’s talk about the two most important components of this whole online dating game:  your photos and your bio. These are critical. These are really all we have in this lifetime. And believe it or not, they are a package deal. As girls, we have an important role in this game and we have to do it in 15 seconds or less. We have to make sure that the guy is attractive, has a decent job and is tall.

Of course, we’ll never know the truth about you until we meet you in person, but you may never have the chance to meet us irl unless we’re 92% sure of your job, your height, and your hair/beard length, beforehand.

Now let’s get started with the most important component – your photos. Obviously, they reign supreme. I don’t know how else to say this, but your pics really need to be bangin. It’s 2016. We have Instagram AND Snapchat now and we basically just scroll through pictures of sexy-ass people all day long. You need to be on your A-game and you need to not have moobs. Moobs are man-boobs. Moobs are what you get when you don’t go to the gym. You need to be in the gym 4x-a-week and you need to follow these three basic photo rules to help you get a quick right-swipe.

  1. Have at least 4 photos of yourself and no more than 5, unless you look incredible in all of them.

Reason: You don’t need six photos if two of them are from three years ago when you were 15 lbs heavier and two-weeks overdue for an already bad haircut. Maybe you thought you were crushing life in 2013, but you didn’t look good. Keep it on Facebook where it belongs.

2. Just like your college application, it is important to appear well-rounded. Use your photos to give us range. Show us who you are.

Reason: We’re trying to picture ourselves on the 3rd month of dating you before we even talk to you. We’re looking at your photo and in our minds it’s December 13th of later this year – we’re at some awkward Christmas party hosted by a friend of ours, who we both don’t really even really like, and we’re deciding whether you could be a good fit for us. All of this is based off of a photo of you day-drinking in your American flag trunks in Montauk last summer. Does this sound crazy? It might, a little. But if we see quality photos of you doing things you love and a leading a seemingly fun life, we are way more inclined to swipe right and go on a date with you.

3. Order in this court! You can’t just upload 4-5 photos all willy-nilly, now. The order of your photos is almost as important as what they represent. See below:

Photo #1: Full-body shot of you by yourself facing the camera.

Photo #2: You with a friend or group of friends, living the dream (order interchangeable w/ photo # 3.)

Photo #3: You wearing a suit – it can be at a wedding or some similar life event, as long as it’s not your wedding (order interchangeable w/ photo # 2.)

Photo #4: You playing a sport, preferably shirtless, or in form-fitting clothing. (Note: Playing a sport does not equate to a gym selfie. Those do not belong here, either.)

So why is order so important here? It’s likely that you’re the 2nd or 3rd most attractive dude in your friend group. Maybe you haven’t thought about this before, but take a second now… I’ll wait. Are you the most empirically good-looking guy in this group photo? If you use it as your 1st photo, girls will assume that you’re the tall, broad-shouldered one with the great head of hair, only to be let down when they get to photo #2 or #3 and find out you’re the less attractive one. And it will be a shame, because you’re probably a really handsome guy! Just do yourself a favor and lead with the picture of you by yourself, solo-dolo. Oh, and if you’re the tall, broad-shouldered one with the good hair…call me. (Jk.) But seriously, please observe the photo order above, and call me.

Your bio:

Alright, the other component to online dating is your bio. Now, this might be an awkward place for you. You might currently have this area blank. You might not care about it or you might not know what to say here. You might be like, “What do I say here? I hate writing bios.” Tbh writing bios is usually not a fun activity. However, this is online dating. Use this opportunity to get creative up in this bitch. This is really where you can be yourself and reel in the ladies. Unlike with the photos, there is one simple rule for your bio, making all the others merely suggestions: State your height.

It can be in centimeters it can be in feet and inches. There might be other measurements I’m not familiar with (which you can also use.) Just please say how fcking tall you are.

You don’t have to be 6’3” to get a date. You are allowed to be 5’8”. I promise -girls will still want to bang you! We just need to know how tall you are, like yesterday. It’s biological. If you say nothing else in your bio or accomplish nothing extraordinary in your whole life, just say this one thing and you’ll be fine.

OK – some other things that will help your swipeability (merely suggestions) are talking about where you currently live, one or two things you enjoy, and something you’re looking for. If you write out all these AND also happen to make it short and funny, you’re looking at a major come up in your dating game.

Here’s an example of a good bio below:

5’11”, NYC, tech world, into fitness but not obsessed with it, looking for someone to eat tacos with – the Seamless minimums are high and becomingly increasingly harder to justify for one person.

This is the perfect length. You can play around with bullets, lists, or even emojis, if you feel so inclined. Just don’t make it a novel, because no one cares. Less is always more. Be sincere. Don’t be creepy. And if you’re not going to be tall, make sure you’re rich. These are just life lessons at this point.

That’s the online dating guide. Do you have questions about any of the above? It’s really all about the pics and the bio, ppl. If you follow this guide, you will be on your way to a lot more sex in just a few weeks. When in doubt, ask one of your closest female friends to help you screen your pics and bio. You two probably already have a weird sexual tension thing happening, anyway, and one of you is too nervous to make the first move.

This will help.

Why I hate ClassPass.

Here’s the thing: It’s hard enough learning how to be a quasi adult in NYC. There’s a lot of concepts that start getting thrown around at you all of a sudden when you’re around 25 -26 years old in this city. Like I’m supposed to just wake up one morning with no dishes in the sink, to texts that I am completely OK with from the Bumble guy I’m dating (Are we even dating? Are we just hooking up?), with food to bring to work for lunch that I cooked (i.e. not New England Clam Chowder from Hale & Hearty) so I can save money and LinkedIn messages already sent to future HR contacts that haven’t yet had the opportunity to crush my dreams, but will be able to one day soon.

So I try to gain some control over these uncertainties by going to the gym. Look good, feel good? Right? Enter ClassPass.

If you’re unfamiliar, I’m sure you’ve heard those girls that you hate at work talk about it before. You know who I’m talking about. They live in Gramercy, Flatiron, or Chelsea. They went to a state school and can be found in the Marketing/PR or HR department of your company. They’re either in great shape or could stand to lose 20 lbs and you can’t figure out why they’re still fat and why the mere sight of them puts you in a bad mood. These are the people that I take classes with. These are not your friends.

ClassPass is a monthly membership that allows you access to some of the city’s best gyms for $125 per month. You have the opportunity to take up to 10 classes per month at any of the member studios whether that be a HIIT class at Barry’s Bootcamp, sculpting at Pure Barre, a spin class a Flywheel, a Muay Thai class at Five Points Academy, or anything else you can find on their portal, with new gyms added every month or so. I joined in 2013 when it was $99/mo. and really, really loved it. It was exciting and fun and a really great value proposition at $10 per class compared to any of the studios that charge typically between $30-45 for a single class.

Yet, if you like having fun in other aspects of your life, ClassPass will make you feel bad about yourself and also take all of your coins. Here’s why: They have a 12-hour cancellation period. To be fair, it used to be 24 hours, and they have since shortened their window. But it’s kind of like the Women’s Suffrage movement – thanks for letting us vote, but does that mean we’re okay with making $0.79 for every dollar paid to men now? No, keep fighting for that equal pay, girls. I need a 2-hour cancellation window.

This is New York. Nothing happens as planned here. Nothing happens as it should. And you just never know if staying in and ordering Seamless on Friday night is what you should be doing, or if it’s really shots of Fireball that you need. How can you ever be sure about anything when you’re this age?

For example, I may think I’m going to a yoga class one night after work at 6:30pm. But maybe at 6:15 I get a call from my sister that she has an extra ticket to a bullriding competition with an open bar at MSG that starts at 7. What do I do then, ClassPass? Not go, cancel the class and pay the stupid $15 late-cancellation fee? Why are you charging me? I’m trying to live my life out here.

Or what if on one Thursday night, I go to Happy Hour with my friends from work, get a little too drunk and forget to cancel my Friday morning, Y7 Hip-Hop Yoga class? Why does ClassPass deduct $20 from my almost-overdrawn Chase checking account? Don’t they know that I just paid my rent AND my Student fucking Loan that day. Why are they trying to hurt me?

Not to mention they have terrible customer service: I had one instance where I was incorrectly charged $20 instead of $15 and they refused to fix the charge. Six emails were exchanged between me and a CX associate named Dominique over $5. And still, I have no abs to show for it.

So, ClassPass, I hate you. Now I have to figure out another way to tone my ass before Coachella, in the city that never sleeps, with no boyfriend and no money. So, thanks.

Manhattan Proper

Went to Manhattan Proper last night, a sports bar on Murray Street in TriBeca, around 7pm with two of my best friends from high school. Shout out to Midwood. It was a friend’s first time bartending so we went to show support. Sometimes I really like doing nice things like that because I’m so selfless – it’s not like I wanted free food, or anything.

Having gone to college in Boston, I’ve been to my fair share of sports bars. I always try to pretend like I’m interested in one of the games going on, but I never have any clue what’s happening and who knew it was still baseball season, anyway? I was pretty sure early Fall was football season. You learn something new everyday.

Regardless, this is a review of the food/scene because it’s the only thing I’m qualified to actually review – fries and vibes.

We ordered two things: the Parmesan Truffle Fries and the Brooklyn Beignets. I KNOW –  WTF are Brooklyn Beignets?? But, wasn’t blown away by them. The beignets were stuffed with pepperoni, mozzarella, topped with parmesan cheese, and served over marinara sauce. It’s just that it tasted kind of like those Pizza Bites that my friends and I would get from the store on our way home from the bars in college – which, by the way, were delicious. BUT those Pizza Bites were genetically engineered to taste like sex. You know what I mean? The fried dough at Manhattan Proper was a little too hard, and the pepperoni inside was a little too big. So not a homerun there. But it’s an easy fix: they just need to try a lighter dough recipe and chop the pepperoni into smaller pieces.

The Parmesan Truffle Fries, however, were very good. They tasted like jumbo Burger King fries  – kind of double fried on the outside, with that crisp skin and just the right balance of potato inside. They smelled divine, and they came with crumbled parmesan, shaved manchego cheese, and garnished with green onion. I can still taste them if I close my eyes.

The scene was kind of mehhhh: early thirty-something guys in casual Friday, blue button-downs with their female coworkers, both trying a little too hard to get out of the friend zone. Like, just go home together already, what is the BFD? And then of course some couples – watching the game, casually making out, eating bar food before meeting up with their friends. Some women in their late thirties trying to have a quick catch up sesh presumably before heading back to jersey/long island/connecticut/westchester. There were one or two kind of cute guys, but like were they actually attractive? Just because you’re the best looking out of your friends, doesn’t really make you cute, does it?

Manhattan Proper’s Results:

Atmosphere: B –

Food: B

Hot guys: C+

Total: B –